Befriending your body
I often think that most of us walk around like we are floating heads and completely unaware of our body unless something is “wrong” with it. You might be aware of your foot if it hurts, notice your body if you don’t like the appearance of it but otherwise, you might not give anything below the neck a second thought.
We do this for so many reasons. Maybe your body has been through a lot of traumas, physical pain, abuse of any kind, or you struggle with body image. These circumstances can cause us to want to run away from or alienate the body. It can be so uncomfortable to think about her much less befriend her. (One way of becoming friendly with the body is to personify it. So instead of an “it” I like to encourage people to use the pronouns associated with their own bodies. Since I identify as she/her, I will be using the pronoun “she” in reference to the body.) Additionally, those who have experienced some of those events listed above might not want to take care of the body. You might want to punish her or keep her from feeling better.
Our body gives us so much helpful information for the basics: hunger, thirst, fatigue, cold, hot and the emotional: sadness, anger, fear, need for connection. When we ignore her or suppress her, we are missing out on meeting her needs and try to solve problems logically instead of intuitively. If we can learn to take care of the body’s needs, we can feel more connected to ourselves, more grounded, and less overwhelmed by our thoughts.
In my practice, I work to remedy this with clients. When we ignore the body, we ignore her cues and helpful information. Without connecting to our body, we can become lost, tense, and tight without knowing why, or have “breakdowns” seemingly out of nowhere. Most of the time, your body was probably sending you signs that all is not well.
So how do we do this? We start small and brief. I’m talking five minutes max. If you try to sit and meditate or do an embodiment practice for 20-30 minutes at first, you will likely become uncomfortable, restless, and distracted. It can be disheartening and causes many to give up because they think, “I’m no good at this.” Take heart, you need to practice and slowly enter this world of embodiment. After a time, you will become more comfortable with engaging longer in the practices. So try some of these brief practices and see what happens!
Practice giving attention to your body. Focus your attention on an innocuous part of your body – like your right hand. See if you can observe the sensations in that hand, the temperature, and weight of it. If your hand is resting on something, notice the feeling of your hand interacting with that object, the texture and feel of that object on your skin. You can move on to the other hand, other limbs, do a full body scan, whatever your attention span can hold in that moment.
Practice asking her what she needs and try to meet that need. Feed her when she’s hungry, put a blanket on her when she’s cold, let her take a bath or a shower when she wants one, allow her to take a break from work or a social event. So many clients tell me that they either passively or actively restrain themselves from taking care of their bodies in this way and it is such an important step in building a friendship with her.
Practice engaging in movements and take note of how your body responds to them. There are some poses and movements that can impact how we emotionally and physically feel. Practice just standing up straight with your body weight evenly balanced in each foot and your arms relaxed at your side for a minute or two and really take note of the physical sensations and energy in the body. Then try a softer pose, maybe a child’s pose where you allow yourself to be small and for your muscles to release. Trying these poses one right after the other can give you an idea of how differently they can make your body feel.
Document the impact emotions have on the body. Each emotion comes with an energetic response or physical manifestation. Everyone will have their own personal experiences but, generally speaking, anger comes with a lot of energy and heat. Sadness comes with heaviness and chest pain/tightness and excitement comes with lightness and flutters in the stomach. Take note of yours when you experience an emotion.
After each practice, really notice how your perspective or opinion of your body might be changing. You may feel more compassionate toward her. You may become aware that you had tightness and tension in your body that you didn’t notice before. You might also notice patterns and rhythms of the body if you practice consistently.
These exercises are a great starting point for getting to know your body. Make her your friend by learning things about her and recognizing her cues. This will set you up to better take care of her, regulate your emotions, and express yourself to others.
Try these out and see if you can feel a difference. And of course, I highly recommend you continue this work with the guidance of a therapist who does embodiment or somatic work to do deeper healing. I’m excited for you to start or continue your wellness and healing journey!
Take care of yourself and your body,
- Caitlin
