Dissociation as Protection

I still remember the first time I watched someone dissociate in front of me. It scared me a bit. To feel the energy leaving the room. I realize now that the fear I experienced was because of losing control of a situation and the ability to communicate intellectually with someone. No one told me what to do in this situation. And I realize now that was because most of my schooling in mental health care was intellectual. Talk-based, top-down type of change. Very little mind-body or somatic care involved. So, dissociation was lumped in with other “crisis” responses and required immediate remediation. I think because of this, it made me, the client, and other therapists slightly fearful of the dissociation response.

Now, don’t get me wrong, dissociation isn’t insignificant. It is a response to trauma and overwhelm, but it is also a protective one. A sign that the person’s system has enough self-preservation left to say, “let’s go somewhere else for a while.” Like an adult encouraging a child to look away or to attempt to distract them from something horrible. It is the nervous system’s attempt to protect you from overwhelming pain and suffering.

What does dissociation look like?

Dissociation can appear in many ways and varying intensities. You may have heard of the “out of body experience” form of dissociation where one may feel like they are watching their body act from above. Some describe it like watching a movie of their life. For others, it is a complete numbness, no sensation or feeling from the present moment. Still others may create a fantasy world they can temporarily escape to. The central theme is disconnection from self and sensation due to feeling overwhelming emotions, fear of experiencing emotion, emotional or physical pain, traumatic experiences or triggers of traumatic experiences.

It is no wonder that the body wants to protect us from these kinds of experiences. It’s like when our muscles tense up when bracing for impact. Or when your body starts to shut down when you are in cold water. It is programmed to do so.

 So what do we do about it?

If we can use the framework that dissociation is protective, we can step into self-compassion and mindful coping skills. Instead of trying to force yourself back into the present moment or giving up and continuing to live largely disconnected from the self, you can gently and gradually bring yourself back.

To do this we need to send new signals to the brain, signals of safety and reality instead of danger and flashbacks.* There are somatic and embodiment practices as well as other trauma-informed interventions to rewire your brain. To be able to feel your emotions without them flooding you.

Practice: Grounding with Intentional Dissociation

In this practice, you will attempt to swing between the present moment and “intentional dissociation.”

We’ll start with the present moment. Take a moment to look around you and observe 5 objects you see around you. If you can’t get to five, that’s ok. Just recognize the physical world around you.

Then swing your focus to somewhere outdoors and away from your current spot. Maybe right outside your window, or maybe at a beautiful place in your imagination. Imagine your energetic body there, in the sunshine, maybe a gentle breeze. Allow yourself to float there for a few moments.

Now slowly find a path back to the present moment. Maybe this time through the sounds you hear. Try to identify a few sounds around you.

Swing back to imagining yourself in the beautiful and peaceful “other place.” See if you can breathe a bit more deeply now. With each exhale letting go of whatever you are holding on to.

Come back to present now through touch. Can you feel your feet on the ground? Can you feel an object around you?

Continue swinging back and forth until you have gone through all the senses and are able to be in the present a bit longer than you were before. Even if you can tolerate it 1% more than when you strarted, we have made positive movement!

Being fully present all at once can be overwhelming for many. That is why full meditation or mindfulness practices can increase anxiety for some – it’s too much too soon! This shows that it can be helpful to intentionally “be elsewhere” for a little while. The present can be too overwhelming, we can gently try to bring you back as you are ready, through safe sensory cues.

 If you would like a video version of this practice, I recorded one for you! Watch here.

Change happens through small, daily moments

There is no expectation to always be 100% present and aware of your emotions. In fact, it’s not possible. You would be so exhausted, and it would be difficult to focus on things like work or others around you. This is why I strongly encourage you to try a practice like this for a brief moment or even just one minute at a time. You can slowly build up your practice from there like a workout for your brain. The goal is to be in charge of what you pay attention to and that takes practice!

You can feel comfortable and connected with your body and system! If you’re interested in these practices or becoming more comfortable in the present moment, reach out to me through my Contact page, or another provider who specializes in some kind of embodiment practice or trauma-informed practice to learn more.*

*Important note! It is very imperative that we only try to send signals of safety if you are truly in a safe space or with support from a professional.  If you are in an unsafe environment or with an unsafe person, the dissociation is truly protecting you in that moment! Seek outside help and support in this case before trying to regulate*

*If you are interested in the other therapies I referenced in this post, here are links to therapist directories for trauma informed interventions: Somatic Experiencing. Lifespan Integration. Internal Family Systems.

Disclaimer: This blog is for marketing, informational, and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.The content is designed to provide general insights and should not replace personalized care. If you’re experiencing mental health challenges or need specific assistance, please reach out to a licensed therapist, counselor, medical professional, or reach out to the National Suicide Hotline: 988 for more support.